The Lover – Marguerite Duras

Going into this book I was already anticipating being uncomfortable while reading based on what was said in class last week. The heads up on the book had my expectations high for the amount of uncomfortable situations that would be faced, but after reading it wasn’t as bad as I had thought. The story was created through memories from the narrator from multiple times in her life, jumping from memories of her family to the present-day narrative. The memories of the family gave insight into its dysfunctional structure through the focus on mental illness, poverty and abuse. Compared to the other books we’ve read featuring the family dynamic, it was nice to see a new perspective on the mother-daughter relationship as I feel the previous books I read in class were either centred around the mother-son or father-daughter relationships. The narrator’s complex relationship with her Mother made her feel emotionally distant from her and made her desire freedom rather than an instant outburst or dramatic response as seen in the other books we’ve read which could possibly be due to this dynamic. 

Another focus in this book is on the “romantic” relationship between the narrator and an older man. This relationship highlighted the impact of social class as despite the man being extremely wealthy his race was always at the forefront while the girl, who lived in poverty, was praised for her white skin and faced minimal backlash for the relationship. At the beginning of the relationship it was admitted she didn’t love him and she was interested in his wealth but later on admits she loves him. It’s hard to say if it ever really was true love between them, as she was young when they first met and never had a person in her life who genuinely loved and took interest in her. The man took advantage of this through intimacy as their relationship was mostly sexual. The age gap between the two perpetrated a power dynamic and felt exploitative from the man’s side. But as mentioned in the lecture, as it was from the girl’s perspective it didn’t feel that way. Compared to other books about age gaps in relationships, that are from the man’s perspective which usually feels predatory and uncomfortable, it didn’t feel like that as the narrator focused more on other aspects of the relationship.  

Besides the plot, another thing that stood out to me was the switch between third and first-person points of view which left me confused at first as it was hard to differ if it was about the narrator or different characters. The narrative of this book was at times frustrating but I believe the switch between past and present is what kept me drawn into it. 

My questions for the class would be “Did the narrative of the book make sense in explaining the story?” and “Did the narrator actually feel true love for him?”.